"Islamophobia Inspector"
Commenter "Islamophobia Inspector" left the following comment at my blog, at this posting:
Islamophobia InspectionWanna guess how I scored? OINK, OINK, SNORT! SCREEEEECH!
I regret to inform you that this webblog and some of its comments have been identified as potentially Islamophobic. Under EU Directive DCLXVI it is compulsory for all contributors to take the following Islamophia test immediately:
YOU MAY BE AN ISLAMOPHOBE IF...
(1) You refer to the midwinter holiday as 'Christmas'.
(2) You save loose change in a p***y-bank.
(3) You allow your children to read unexpurgated versions of Winnie the Poo.
(4) You doubt whether it's politically correct to stone rape victims.
(5) You believe that the earth is round.
(6) You think there's something weird about a 50 year old man marrying a six year old girl.
(7) Your children have Barbie dolls or Teddy Bears
(8) You object to being a second class citizen in your own country.
(9) You fail to celebrate cultural diversity when your daughter is gang-raped for not wearing a headscarf.
(10) You think government policy should be determined by your elected representatives rather than a howling mob.
(11) You object to your taxes being used to support people who are plotting to kill you.
(12) You aren't convinced that 'Jihad' means 'Inner Spiritual Struggle'.
(13) You don't understand why the Jews must be exterminated.
(14) You allow your children to play with LEGO.
(15) You aren't married to at least one of your cousins.
(16) You sometimes have doubts about BBC reporting.
(17) You occasionally wonder what's inside those walking tents.
(18) You realise that taqiyya is not a Mexican beverage.
(19) You believe moderate Muslims ride unicorns.
(20) You don't appreciate the multicultural need for Methodist grandmothers to be body-cavity searched before boarding aircraft.
(21) You claim to understand the words "Slay the unbelievers wherever you find them", even though you don't speak Arabic.
(22) You object to taxpayers' money being spent for terrorists to hold a festival to commemorate the anniversary of their massacres.
(23) You have reservations about 'faith schools' where the kids will be taught that you and your family are najis (excrement), at public expense.
(24) You don't understand why flying your country's flag has become a hate-crime.
(25) You don't appreciate why it is so insensitive and offensive for the police to prevent oppressed minorities venting their frustration by mass murder.
EVALUATING YOUR SCORE
How many of the questions did you answer 'YES' ?
On a scale of 0 to 25
0 you are a Dhimmi
1 to 5 you are a Najis Kaffir
6 to 10 you are an Islamophobe
11 to 15 you are a Thought Criminal
16 to 20 you are an Enemy of Allah
21 to 25 you are a Zionist Crusader offspring of pigs and monkeys.
Fatwas are automatically awarded for all scores above 5
Fatwas will been posted in plain brown paper envelopes in a choice of laminated or embossed styles, generously sprinkled with ricin, anthrax, sarin or cobalt-60.
There I go, insulting Islam again. Bwahahahahahaha!
posted by Always On Watch @ 6:52 AM
2 Comments:
Well done. I am proud of my score.
Islamophobia Questions – if the answers are YES and the ‘phobia’ will go away!
Will Muslims actively and constantly rebuke, loudly and publicly, those that undertake violent jihad and denounce the concept as being defunct and belonging to another time (much as the Christians have done with their revolting concepts of the crusades)?
Will Muslims actively return to the now practically abandoned practice of broad spectrum “ijtihad” and as a world religion start a process of enlightenment in a similar way the Christians did with their period of reformation?
Will Moslems actively seek to broaden their junior schools’ curriculum and ensure that only students, that have reached the age of reason, attend institutions that are dedicated exclusively to studying the Qur’an?
Will Muslim scholars and clerics actively endorse a program of democratization and work conscientiously and consistently seek to remove dictatorial governments?
Will Muslims walk away from the concept of a theocratic state and acknowledge that civil law must always outweigh sharia law?
Will Muslims do something positive toward the radical elements within their own ranks by purging Mosques of radical clerics an hold them legally accountable for those that act on their instructions?
Will Muslims publicly rebuke governments and organisations that fund violent Islamic movements in foreign lands, such as the one that has existed in Thailand for some years?
Will Islamic religious leaders publicly denounce brutal regimes that are involved in ethnic cleansing such as Somalia and Sudan and volunteer armed forces to United Nations missions involved in attempts to install democratic governments in failed states?
Will Muslims, through a process ijtihad suppress and deny the sura and hadith that are highly offensive to non-Muslims by insisting that their followers acknowledge and accept that they refer to specific historical times and events that no longer exist and therefore render them void?
Will Muslims confirm that the expressed desire of some of the faithful for a worldwide caliphate is to be purged from their teachings (and their websites) and will Muslim leaders publicly renounce all those that support this worldview?
Will Muslims allow those that wish to leave the faith to do so without retribution?
caliibre
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